Decision."Girl, I have made a decision this time.
And I am sorry, I have chose to walk away. This time, I am doubling my steps and if there is a need, I will run away from it all.
With flustered and entangled thoughts with raw, terribly mixed and overwhelming emotions taking over me, here I go, walking away from this mess and the not so beautiful disaster I have got myself into. Like I have always said to you, I am not the best person or even a friend which you can rely to every time. I chose to walk away the last time and I acknowledged the harsh reality that when I walked away from you, from your life, I missed all the good times that you have experienced and I was not even there by your side to witness them all. I knew, you wished I was there to see them all, I wished the same too.
Those smiles we flashed to each other on the streets no longer have the same effect on me, it no longer seem real neither does it seem sincere to me. Those cheesy and mushy words which we once recited over and over again has fallen on deaf ears and there are no significant feelings behind them anymore. They are just words to me now, no feelings, no sentimental value, no, nothing.
Now, I choose the best option again for us to move on, to move forward in our lives and live with whatever remnants our friendship has. Good memories will never be forgotten and has already occupied a small space in my heart.
Call me a coward who refuses to let her heart get trampled on or shatter into a million pieces or an escapist who just know how to run away from problems, not wanting or knowing to solve them. If running away from all these things helps me in my healing, I am going all for it. If walking away from all these things despite having to endure an aching heart physically and emotionally, I am making my feet move away from you now, at this very moment.
Goodbye is not something I want to say but be well and best wishes would be my last words to you. So take care and be well, be happy now. "
said her good old friend to her for the last time she will ever hear from her again.
As she disappeared from her clear sight, her heart fell with a thump and she sank to the ground, crying over a dead friendship built over mutual trust and deep understanding for one another, a friendship which knows no barrier, a friendship which she took for granted all these while. Too late for regrets they say, it is all over.
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The End.
p/s : This short story/scene whatever you want to call it, is a mere reflection of what is happening in my crazy life lately. With all the problems coming in and going out, with friends suddenly vanishing and then appearing out of nowhere, failed friendships which have been stagnant and not progressing since I don't know when and many others which seems to be endless of them coming at my door, banging hard trying to get in. Not finger pointing to anyone out there but this would be a scene which I am very familiar to in my life at this very moment because just like that girl, I am walking away too.
My mind is flustered and in a great terrible mess, my heart is empty for anybody to call home and my emotions? They are just overwhelmingly mixed and raw for me to handle.
Love,
A.
